Meridian Page 5

  He hesitated, as if he didn't know how to comfort me. In the end, he didn't touch me. "You're born, not infected," he said. "I have my reasons. None of which are because you're a Fenestra. Drink some OJ, it's fresh-squeezed." He scrambled away from me to pour a glass.

  I snorted. "Fresh? What man squeezes fresh OJ?"

  "Don't tell me you buy that crap stereotype that guys eat cold beans out of a can?"

  "Only the straight ones." I grinned, but it came off more like teeth-baring. He didn't respond. "Fresh-squeezed, huh?" I sipped. "Good."

  Tens dished up scrambled eggs, an English muffin, a couple of sausage links, and bacon. "Eat up. Auntie left you lesson number one."

  The smell of food made my stomach turn. "I don't want breakfast."

  "You need to eat."

  "I never eat breakfast. Seriously, never. If I eat it I'll probably just puke all over you." Even if I was hungry, his I-know-what's-best-for-you tone made me want to be ornery.

  I saw a flash of hurt cross his face. He ran water in the sink and started scrubbing the frying pan.

  I closed my eyes, wondering when I'd morphed into a total harpy. "Look. I'm sorry."

  "I get it," he grunted.

  "You do? Because I don't. I'm not a mean person, but you make me mad."

  He kept scrubbing the pan. It had to be clean by now. "You're cornered. I haven't exactly cut you a lot of slack either."

  I swallowed more juice, enjoying its sweetness and its bite. "No, you haven't. Why don't you like me?"

  He paused, but continued to stare out the window instead of at me. "I don't dislike you."

  "Riiiight."

  "Listen, I—" He broke off and gulped a deep breath. "I-if you can't... If you don't..."

  I waited. I barely inhaled, afraid I'd scare him into keeping his mouth shut.

  Tens shook his head as if losing an argument with himself. "I won't force you to eat. When you're finished with the juice, I have something Auntie asked me to give you. It's not a present or anything."

  "Whatever."

  A loud clanging erupted, like the Tin Man had fallen into a pile of pots and pans. I leapt to my feet. "What is that?"

  Tens chuckled, already moving into the hallway. "The phone. Auntie asked me to tweak it so she could hear it anywhere in the house."

  "I think they heard it in Alaska." I followed him.

  "Hello?" Tension jerked his body tight as he held the receiver against his ear. I could almost see his wiry muscles coiling to attack. "Answer me!" He dropped his voice to a whisper, so I moved closer. "Listen up, you piece of shit. Knock it off." Tens slammed the phone into the cradle and rubbed his hands over his face.

  "What was that?"

  "A telemarketer."

  "Hmm... really?"

  He exhaled. "No. Auntie's been getting hang-up calls and weird breathing on the line. Sometimes a robotic voice recites Bible verses. The calls are coming more often."

  "It's probably kids."

  "Maybe."

  "You don't think so?"

  "No, I don't."

  "Oh." I hadn't expected him to actually answer the question. "Then what is it?"

  "What is it? It's time for you to work on lesson number one."

  "Where is Auntie anyway?"

  "She went into town for groceries and thread before the stores close until after the first of the year."

  "Why didn't we go with her? Why didn't you go? The weather can't be much better for driving than it was when I got here."

  "She instructed me to stay here. With you."

  An unspoken statement lingered just behind his words.

  I nodded.

  He sighed. "Listen, there are things you don't know."

  "So tell me." I pleaded.

  "I made a promise that I wouldn't tell you anything until Auntie thinks you're ready. But I think you should be prepared."

  "Prepared? You make it sound like we're going to war."

  "Things have been escalating the past several months with a local cult that masquerades as a legitimate evangelical congregation. There's a minister who is really good at convincing people to do things. He has it in for anybody who doesn't see the world his way." Tens paused and frowned. "Or it could be something else entirely."

  "What else?"

  "When you were home, did you get any phone calls?" He asked like he already knew the answer.

  "No—oh my God. Yes. Lots in the weeks before my birthday. My mom freaked out completely." It felt like a lifetime ago.

  "The Aternocti are hunting you. They know where Auntie is."'

  "So they know where I am." I closed my eyes.

  "That's what I'm thinking. And I don't have the first fucking clue how to keep them from hurting us."

  "Oh."

  He rubbed his hands through his hair. "Don't tell her I told you. Be careful, okay? Keep your eyes open."

  A church cult. The devil's minions. "Anyone else?" I asked, only half kidding.

  He didn't smile. "I don't know for sure." He held my gaze and I felt an odd shimmy in my stomach. I didn't want to glance away but I knew I wasn't the least bit invisible to Tens. He seemed to see all of me, and that knowledge made me nervous.

  The Land Rover drove into the yard.

  "She's back," I said.

  Tens shoved his arms into a down coat and slammed out the door to help Auntie. I wondered if he ever did anything quietly. I unpacked groceries as Tens brought them in, three or four bags at a time.

  "Just leave the jerky and dried fruit in a bag or two, okay?" he said.

  "Okay." Whatever. I wasn't going to steal dried venison or banana chips in the middle of the night

  "Hello, little one. Did you sleep okay?" Auntie brushed my cheek with her lips and I caught a whiff of fresh-cut grass and apple blossoms.

  "Yes, thanks."

  She turned to Tens. "I heard Peggy and Ruth talking. Winnie, she's a neighbor, has pneumonia. I'm going to go visit her, see if there's anything I can do for the family. It's so hard on the living when the dying pick holidays."

  "Okay." Tens studied her for a minute. I couldn't decipher his silence.

  Auntie shook her head carefully as if calling off a pitch. "Did you find what I asked you to?"

  "Yep, they're ready for you." He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. Apprehension radiated from him.

  "My timing is perfect, then. Come." She patted my cheek and tugged me along to the parlor.

  Chapter 9

  You have to practice consciously opening your window. Visualization is your biggest tool for coping. If you believe the soul can easily flow through you, then odds are it will. You have to live mindfully. Sit," Auntie commanded as she motioned to a wingback chair.

  I perched on the edge of the seat, nervous about this first lesson. What if I'm not good at it? "Don't animals die around me all the time? What's the problem?"

  "You're sick because they pushed through and tangled in your energy. You have to give the soul the exit, or they'll keep hurting you. It's about giving them the right-of-way of yielding. Now that you've turned sixteen, all souls, of every size, can sense you— humans especially. And until you're able to control your own energy-, to open and close the window for yourself, you're in danger." Auntie brushed at my curls.

  Tens lingered in the doorway, watching.

  "Close your eyes. Which is your favorite season?" she asked.

  "Summer."

  "Okay, I want you to visualize an open window. A breeze is blowing, it feels cool against the heat of the sun. You want to feel the breeze so the energy disperses as quickly as possible. Okay? What color are the curtains?" Auntie asked.

  "Curtains?"' I cracked an eye open.

  "Put curtains on the window. It makes it more real. Reality is in the details. Remember that." She put her hand over my eyes.

  "Okay. They're white lace."

  "Good. The curtains are rustling in the breeze. It's a big window. With a view of?" She let the question dangle.


  "Oh. A sunset?"

  "A sunset it is. Picture yourself in the room with the window, but you've moved far enough back from the window that you don't feel the breeze. You love this room, you're content in this room, you never want to leave this room. What's on the other side of the window, the view, will be determined by the soul passing through you. Just go with whatever you see when that happens. Don't fight it"

  I pictured my bedroom at home. I felt safe there. "Okay."

  "Now you're going to focus on the window and staying on this side, right? There's plenty of room to go through it—it's a big window—but you like seeing the sunset from here."

  This all felt very Sci Fi Channel to me. "Okay."

  "Now, keep that up until Tens tells you to stop. I can't stay here or my own power will interfere with you using yours. I need to go pay my respects to my neighbor. Winnie was a good friend for many years. She won't be alive tomorrow."

  "Can I come with you?" I opened one eye again only to have her put my own hands over them.

  "No, you're not ready yet. We need to start you small. I think Winnie might grab hold of you and keep going. I'll be back by dinner. Keep watching that window until Tens thinks—"

  "I'm good." I had a feeling I'd be sitting here until she came back if I listened to him.

  I heard the Land Rover start up and spin off. I counted to ten. Then to ten again. I opened my eyes and found Tens watching me. The expression in his eyes made blood rush to my face and brightened the tips of my ears with heat. "Okay, I'm done." I stood up and stretched my aching muscles.

  "You sure?"

  "Am I sure I'm done visualizing a window? Yes, I'm finished."

  "Okay then, wait here."

  "What?"

  "There's more to do. I'll be right back."

  I wandered off, listening to him grumble and head outside.

  I was sitting on the couch flipping through an old photo album when he returned holding a pile of rags. "What's that?"'

  "Lesson number two. Baby bunnies. Help them transition." He said this so matter-of-factly that I wondered if I'd misheard him.

  "What?" I stiffened.

  "Custos found them this morning. Their mother was already frozen."

  "And you want me to ..." He had to be playing an elaborate joke on me. No way had Auntie suggested he hand me orphaned bunnies to kill.

  "Visualize the window."

  I inched back into the far corner of the couch. The stink of rabbit urine and feces began wafting around the room. "You're serious, aren't you? There really are bunnies in there."

  "What about this made you think I was kidding?" He peeled back a few layers of cloth to reveal four perfectly formed brown baby bunnies with white paws and white blazes down their foreheads.

  My heart broke. They looked like my favorite stuffed animal. "You're sick. I'm not doing it." I leapt up, wanting space between us.

  Tens laid the bundle of rags in front of me. "You don't have to do anything."

  "I have to let them die. I won't. Not so I can practice." Why didn't this bother him more?

  "Animals die around you all the time. They're going to die anyway."

  "Not if I can help it. I don't stand by and watch. I don't help them die." I tore down the hallway to the kitchen with Tens hot on my tail.

  "What are you doing?"

  "I'm searching for milk. Condensed milk, or cream, or something. “I threw open cabinets and shoved cans around.

  "Meridian. Stop." Tens paused in the doorway, keeping his distance as if I were rabid.

  "No. I'm not going to just stand there and watch them die." I found a can of condensed milk in the far reaches of a cupboard and ripped off the lid. I grabbed a spoon.

  "It won't matter."

  "You don't know that. You don't!"

  He stood in my way, blocking the doorway. "I do."

  "Get out of my way!" I tried to push past him but tears blurred my vision.

  He grabbed my shoulders. It was the first time he'd voluntarily touched me since the night I arrived. "Meridian." His voice broke, and for a moment it sounded as if he was going to cry too.

  "What?" I knew I sounded like a petulant toddler, but I couldn't help it.

  "You need a medicine dropper. Second drawer down, by the stove." He whispered this, gently turning me around. I don't know what made him stop fighting me, but I wasn't going to argue.

  I snatched up the dropper and ducked under his arm. In the living room, I tried unsuccessfully to pick up the bundle while carrying the open can of milk and the dropper.

  Tens was right beside me, "Where do you want them?"

  "By the fire."

  I noticed how gently he cradled the baby rabbits, lovingly setting them on the carpet in front of the fire. I sank to the floor and lifted one up. Its bitty body made my hand seem enormous. A tiny bundle of fur and the faintest heartbeat. "Come on, baby, eat. You have to eat." I placed a dropperful of milk against its mouth, but it wouldn't open. Tears pooled in my eyes and ran down my cheeks.

  I kept trying to force milk into the closed mouth. I knelt on the floor, hovering over it, as if by positioning myself I could convince the little bunny to live.

  Tens sat down behind me and leaned against a chair. Then he tugged me to lean back against him. "They were out there too long, Meridian. Their mom was cold. They haven't been weaned yet."

  I closed my eyes as I sat and stroked the babies, hoping they could feel my desire for them to live. But my gut told me none of them would eat.

  Tens was solid and warm. The fire heated my face and made my cheeks glow. With each breath I inhaled the pine, earth, and manly spice that made up Tens's aroma. If I paid attention. I could even smell Custos tangled up in his scent.

  The fire died down. The flames got smaller and the coals glowed. But Tens didn't shift or suggest I'd tried long enough.

  I felt the faintest shiver, the smallest energy change. I did as Auntie instructed, opening a window in my mind and picturing myself on this earthly side of it. I sat there holding the baby until it was cold, then I picked up the next one, and the next. Eventually, they were all cold.

  "They're gone." Tens brushed my hair out of my eyes. "I'm sorry."

  I put them down, nestled them into the bundle of rags. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

  I felt him shrug. "I know what's it like to fight something you can't win."

  "What?"

  He didn't answer. Instead he asked, "Do you feel sick? Headache? Nausea?"

  I closed my eyes and tried to breathe as bile rose in the back of my throat. Lying, I said, "I'm okay. Sad, I guess, but okay."

  "Are you sure? You're a little green. Paler than normal and definitely green."

  "No, I'm fine." My gag reflex threatened.

  He heaved a sigh as if my answer was vitally important. "That's good then. Right?"

  I was about to throw up. I didn't want to puke. I really didn't want to puke. I tried to inhale past it.

  Tens continued, accepting my answer at face value. "Don't you get sick? Have pain and stuff? That's what Auntie said."

  There was a connection between the pain, the illness, and being a Fenestra. I wasn't simply a walking malady. I stood, quickly, trying to make it to the bathroom in time.

  "Meri—"

  I raced to a huge vase and leaned over it, puking up last night's cookies. I heaved until there was nothing left.

  "Here." Tens helped me lie down and returned from the bathroom with a cool cloth for my face. "I guess we've got practicing to do, huh?" He slid a wingback chair next to the sofa and perched on it.

  All I felt at the moment was a sensation like when the elevator drops out, that weightless free falling for a second or less.

  "I'm okay." I said, feeling him study me.

  "That's what you said before."

  "I know, but I need space."

  "Okay." Tens began gathering the bunnies up.

  "Where are you going?" I asked.

  "I'm going to bury them.
Call for Custos. Then I have the next lesson for you."

  "What?"

  "Custos's dinner tonight is chicken. I'm going to butcher the hens, you'll help them cross. Custos'll eat them."

  "No way—"

  "Are you a vegetarian?"

  That sounded more and more appealing. "No. but—"

  "Neither is she. You need the practice with animals, Meridian. Before—"

  "I know, but—"

  "Meet me outside in a minute, okay?"

  I knew he was right. I ate chicken. The least I should be able to do was watch him kill one. "How?"

  "How what?"

  "How are you going to, you know ..."

  "Break the neck. It's quick, so you'll have to be on your toes."

  I nodded. "Give me a few minutes, okay?"

  "Don't be long. This needs to be easy."

  Easy? Was he kidding?

  Chapter 10

  Tens cleaned up outside while Custos munched on the chickens. Nothing was wasted, and I'd actually done it. Barely. I was tired, but I didn't puke this time and my neck didn't hurt, which was an improvement over the bunnies. And the two hens were now safely in a lovely meadow across the way.

  Auntie was still at the neighbors" and I was anxious to report my progress to her. Custos needing fresh meat was entirely different from baby-anything. After grabbing a glass of juice, I wandered around the house.

  The terrible clanging of the phone made me jump out of my skin. I ignored it, hoping Tens would return soon. It stopped.

  I picked up a heavy silver frame with a photograph of Auntie and a man I didn't recognize, both smiling.

  The phone rang again. Fifteen times. I counted each ring while I watched out the window for Tens. It finally stopped.

  Five minutes passed before it started up again. "Crap." By the twelfth ring, I couldn't stand it and went to stand in front of the phone.

  The ringing stopped. I turned to walk away and it started again.

  I inhaled and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

  "Meridian"

  I didn't recognize the tinny electronic voice. A man's?

  "Who is this?" I felt fear choke my throat.

  "We're watching you. Tick tock."

  "Who is this?"

  "We're waiting for you in the darkness. Tickety—"

  I slammed down the phone, trying to calm my heartbeat and my breathing.

  Tens walked in and dropped his gloves and coat on the floor as he hurried to reach my side. "What happened?"